Mrs Figgs True Love
by jpProngs
Summary: Mrs. Figg finally finds true love! Who is it? read here to find out! Rating just to be safe. it could be PG-13


Ok hi! I know I should really be working on Fanfics that I've started like The Last Chance and Love Me Back, but I just HAD to write this. Its really uncalled for but that's ok! R&R pls!!! Thanks to you peeps that review my stuff btw, I really appreciate it! LoL.  
  
bMrs. Figg's True Loveb  
  
Mrs. Figg was sitting on her cat-smelling couch day dreaming about her one true love. She was imagining every detail of his extremely handsome face. She pictured his cold eyes, his thin lips, and every wrinkle on his worn out complexion perfectly. Yes, the old lady knew how he treated Hogwarts students, and she was against it. Yet, she couldn't help but have a secret longing for him to hold her in his arms. Mrs. Figg couldn't help but be attracted to him. After all, he was the only other one like her that she knew, Filch too was a squib.  
  
At that moment an owl appeared in her living room. It was quite an ugly owl, a brown one with a drunk look to it.  
  
"Is this for me?" Mrs. Figg was obviously not used to receiving mail. Well, the wizards way in any case.  
  
Slowly, she opened it.  
  
iDear Figgy, I'm coming to your home tonight at seven. I told Dumbledore how I fell in love with your picture and he thinks we should meet. Who knows? Maybe we can even go and torture Potter boy together. Hope to see you soon. Love, Filchy /i  
  
Mrs. Figg ran to the bathroom to get ready while her heart stopped beating.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
At seven o'clock, she was sitting on her couch, petting a cat when the door bell rang. She leaped up and dropped the cat. After taking a deep breath, she walked over to the door.  
  
"Hello." She said in the most "attractive" voice she could.  
  
"Why hello there." Filch responded. You look very fit today.  
  
"Thank you. So do you. Oh uh, come in, come in!"  
  
The two of them went to sit on Mrs. Figgs couch. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes when all of a sudden:  
  
"I love you Figgy!" and Filch pushed her back so that she was lying down on the couch. He then started attacking her with kisses.  
  
In between madly making out, one of them would say "I love you" or "Squibs together forever" or "never leave" or something.  
  
Slowly but surely, they started undressing each other.  
  
"Deflower me." He said softly.  
  
"Are you sure we're ready?" Mrs. Figg asked when they were just in their underwear.  
  
"YES FIGGY! WE'RE READY!" And they walked into Figgs room and locked the door.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"That was amazing." said Mrs. Figg when she woke up the next morning. "Best sex I've ever had.  
  
"How uncanny, likewise for me. In fact, torturing Harry only went through my mind once while we were doing it." Mrs. Figg decided to ignore that comment.  
  
"I love you." she said passionately.  
  
"I love you too." He responded.  
  
In the middle of these two lovely love birds being in love, came that same owl that had come more Mrs. Figg the day before. It dropped a piece of parchment into Filch's lap.  
  
"I-I have to go." said Filch after taking a minute or so to read the letter. "I'm sorry. Dumbledore's calling. I have to get back to work at Hogwarts. School starts in two days."  
  
"Oh. I understand." Mrs. Figg was trying to be brave.  
  
"Think of me." At this point tears began streaming down her eyes. "I love you." This came out in a whisper.  
  
"I love you too Figgy, I always will."  
  
All Figg could do now was nod.  
  
"I had a wonderful night." And with one last kiss, he left.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
All Mrs. Figg could do for the next month was mope. She cried all day and all night. "How could he do this to me? That worthless pile of bat droppings! I hate him!" But she knew she was only lying to herself. She knew that she really loved him with all her heart and soul.  
  
Soon though, she had something to distract her mind. Not something that she wanted mind you, but still, something.  
  
"I'M PREGNANT?1?!?!?!? I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS STILL CAPABLE OF MAKING BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"It's a squib thing." said the doctor.  
  
"WELL WHY HASN'T ANYONE TOLD ME??? I DON'T WANT SQUIBLINGS!!!!!! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A DADDY WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM!!!!!" And Mrs. Figg stormed out of the Doctors office, immediately writing to Filch."  
  
iDear Filchy, Well um, how should I put this? I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SQIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!! COME HOME DARLING!!!!!!!!!! Love, Figgy/i  
  
Patiently, she waited, but Filch never responded. Instead, he did something better.  
  
Just when Figg was beginning to show, Filch appeared at her doorstep.  
  
"I'm taking the year off." He said. "And next year, you can come live at Hogwarts with me, along with our little squibling."  
  
Mrs. Figg began crying and kissed the man she loved.  
  
"Well what are we waiting for?" she said. "Lets get hitched!"  
  
"oh yeah!" said Filch.  
  
And they walked off into the sunset, hand in hand.  
  
THE END 


End file.
